Deep Sea Chicken and our Army

I've been busy

2005-10-23T10:54:00.000-05:00

Today it's raining. Nothing to do. I decided

I would try to make some jokes for burger king.

Dan came up with a joke for me:

Q. How do you get a genetically modified

unbiodegradeable burger up a tree?

A. Plant an acorn under it and wait 50 years!!!

By that time burger king will be out of business.

How to sculpt a giant genetically modified

unbiodegradeable fat-filled burger:
First, get a big block of marble.

Then chip away everything that doesn't looke like

a giant genetically modified unbiodegradeable fat-filled burger.

*clap clap clap*

Good ones Dan.

Well, back to Deep Sea Chicken. No more jokes.

Well, sorry I haven't blogged, but we forgot the password,

and my email expired so I had to get my email address back.

But now we have the password.

'Matt, there's an important message for you.'

'What is it?'

'Matt, we caught the burgerlers!!!'

'Good, I always knew I count on Jenna and Prissy.'

'Yep, the fowlies always get their men!'

Get it?

Deep Sea Chicken Army Plots their vacation

2005-05-15T10:29:00.000-05:00

Well, we haven't blogged in a really long time, so we might have to do a really long blog.
I have one new idea. It's called Redlight rumble. It's a computer game -- you get into a car and race. You hit other cars and you sometimes damage yourself. You have to pass underneath trucks, and hide from the police. Driving the car is a problem, but there is a track and that makes it easier. I want to have like a REAL version of redlight rumble. My chickens will be glad to do the crash tests. My chickens will also race against you. You have an assistant, and 2 opponents. Here's one opponent (which is really hard to beat): He's red with two blue streaks (one on each side of the car). A convertible, and it has two engines and five gears. If you win this race you get to take home a model of the game.

Burger king has been awfully quiet this month because we have been away and they don't know where we were. The title of this blog that I'm writing right now...well, we have to be very secretive about where the chickens go on vacation to prevent ambush by land, water, or air. We are starting to go after MacDonalds as well as burger king. Also, Wendys. Tim Hortons were the ones that told on burger king (that burger king was stealing my ideas), so I like them even though they are the same company as Wendys. So those are restaurants that I don't like -- the ones that I am starting to go after.

So many things to say

2005-03-30T19:14:00.000-05:00

First off, Turkeys.

Matt has recently just let Turkeys work in the army. However, they are so stupid and scrawny that Matt has decided the Turkeys should be at the front of the battlefield so that BK will shoot them down first, which will give the VERY smart chickens more time to get ready. Don't worry. We use the dead turkeys in our restaurant. If you are very lucky you may find a bullet and if you do you will get a free surprise!!! We also manage to stuff the turkeys so that they clog up the tube going down to the septic tanks. This way more plumbers will have to come and get rid of the Turkeys first and clean up all the, well you know, "stuff" after. This will cost BK SO much money that it will run them out of business. We have pulled out TWO-HUNDRED Army bases due to septic tank clogs. We are thankful for the Turkey's stupidity and their not minding about sacrificing themselfs.

General Gus has finally gotten over his wife's death. He is now doing his job, with his oldest son, General Jerry at his side. We have made a lounge for the General's now. It is complete with a Hi-Res TV, a computer complete with Internet, Corel, and Microsoft Office. All in the NEWEST editions. Gotta go now. Will blog more

We need your help!!!

2005-03-27T11:42:00.000-05:00

We just went on to google and found out that Deep Sea Chicken isn't coming up on the search engines!!! But burger king is! Lots and lots of burger king. So: we need your help. Everybody with a web page needs to link Deep Sea chicken website, and Deep Sea Chicken blog, so that Deep Sea Chicken will come up on google. Make the link say Deep Sea chicken, or Deep Sea Chicken Blog.

Thank you!!!

It's been a long time

2005-03-27T11:32:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since we updated the blog.

Michelle Miller,

I've decided to hire your rabbit Nibbles. Instead of him being paid with money, we are going to pay him with vegatables. He will have a vegatable account instead of a bank account. He can make withdrawals just by eating any old veggie in deep sea chicken. He will also be useful eating all the veggies that don't meet our customers satisfaction.

How did you find the blog? Does your rabbit read the blog? Melanie my assistant manager might want a resume for your rabbit done up - just so we can make sure he is a professional!

On easter, we'll use nibbles as an easter bunny. He'll go around and give people chocolate eggs. Our customers will love him!

...

2005-03-11T13:39:00.000-05:00

There has been some speculation about what the Deep Sea Chicken waitresses uniform will look like. We don't have a lot of money now, so we picked some stuff off of ebay (just the pictures.) When we have some more money (which is where beah comes in) Katelyn will design something cooler.

I didn't like this one so much, but Katelyn insisted.

(you wear the pants underneath the dress)

Back by popular demand!!!!!!

Is anybody even looking at this blog?!

2005-03-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

Beah,

Do a blog and at the bottome do this<><
This is a test to see if you are reading my blog.
Oh, and you're hired.
YOu're going to be a money employee. You are the person who sorts all the money into different bins and accounts. You sort all the dollars, and all the pennies, and all the quarters. If you are good enought I will promote you to being a waitress. You have got to show that you are good with boxes. You can come for a job interview, so I can watch your money-sorting skills. You will be sorting fake money so you can't steal anything. You will have a partner in this job, so you better be the kind of person that gets along well with other people. Your partner is Mooshi. A resume from you would also be in order.

This post was originally posted on the Abarbablog

2005-03-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

Grrr. I do not want to post on ABARBABLOG but mom made me. We are getting a Deep Sea Chicken Amusement Park! It is near the Deep Sea Chicken Restaurant - very very close, touching it. But if you take a jog around the building you will not see it except for a little part. You will be able to see the entrance sticking out of the ground (as the amumsement park is underground). Best of all when it rains you don't get wet and the rides don't get damaged by the rain.
Today Anna's grandpa came over to pick her up. He had these things in his ears. So I asked him what they were. He said he could call somebody on them. So I am going to find out from Anna's grandpa where he got them and get them for my Deep Sea Chicken Staff. They were like these things that stick into your ears and there is a switch at the back and you can turn them off and on. I turned one off and I turned the other one up loud. It made a screeching sound. I asked him how he used a telephone. He said, "look I may be deaf but I'm not dumb". Then he turned to Mom and said, "I was waiting for an opening to use that line & Matt gave me the opening".
I have been sick but I'm kind of getting better actually. Actually I would like to warn you. We have a sandbox at the Deep Sea Chicken Amusement Park. You can win a mansion if you can find a real chicken leg in the sandbox. But there are fake ones in there too. If you find a fake one you don't get the prize. There is also a ferris wheel that pops out of the ground. Some of the rides cost money to ride on. But if you are poor it is free.
The snow is melting a little bit which is kind of a problem for me. The melting snow is wrecking my snow wall. Dan kicked me on purpose - just because he didn't want me to pick up a little stupid piece of clay. Dad found out about it. He made Dan say he was sorry. Then I said I was sorry. Then we hugged.

How Movies Are

2005-03-06T12:28:00.000-05:00

This post is all about the movies that burger king watches. They can watch sexual* movies, or movies with killing and stuff. All kinds of bad movies. That's where they get their ideas from. If I ran all the video stores out of business and if burger king stopped getting new ideas then I would realized that it was the videos that they watch that is doing it.

Ok, so I'll tell you the idea I had that I couldn't post before because I have decided not to do it. I was going to uproot burger king and blow up its foundations. That's what the tunnel was for, so that we could get the wrecking balls underneath the burger king. But then I realized I could hurt one of my spies in the burger king. Or I could hurt the people in the burger king and I would be a murderer and that would run me out of business which would be a problem. That's a problem because if a wrecking ball tore down our house (watch out because somebody might make a movie of this and burger king will get the same idea) I would get mad at the person who did it and run him out of business. The running burger king out of business idea is better, which is the idea I'm going to use because I wouldn't like to hurt anyone. But maybe Burger King will run me out of business, and that is why I have my army.

We've got to make sure that burger king doesn't get their hands on any violent movies, or any movies with chickens (such as chicken run). The way to do this is to get all our employees to go to their nearest video store and check out the violent and sexual* videos. And maybe burger king has a rapper, so we will have to get rid of him as well (since I don't like listening to rap).

Matt

*Please note that the 7 year old owner founder and manager doesn't actually know what sexual means - only that it isn't good in movies.

Originally posted on the Abarbablog

2005-02-28T21:01:00.000-05:00

This is my last blog on the Abarbablog and tomorrow I'm going to blog on Deep Sea Chicken. Well I shouldn't really be telling you this idea about Deep Sea Chicken because Murder King (that's what I call Burger King) could be reading my blog. This is my chant "Burger King my Enemy". This isn't really a Deep Sea Chicken idea. I'll just tell you this idea involves two wrecking balls and one crane. It also involves one Murder King restaurant. It also involves one tunnel, two pieces of dynamite but no match. We are not going to blow them up. We are going to take the piece of dynamite and attach it to the wrecking ball. I won't tell you anything more but the sounds involved are like "neeeeoooo pow". Use your imagination.

Poor General Gus

2005-02-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

It is a sad day for the army. General Gus's wife died at too many childbirths. But the kids are still living and I asked Combat Lucy to make zoombags for them. She said: CLUCK! Which means YES! They are so adorable. The funeral was very sad.

<><

=^..^=

Conspiracy theory

2005-02-22T10:14:00.000-05:00

Alright, I know that all you guys are STARVING for news of the restaurant, and to know whether or not disease has struck again. The good news is IT HASN'T!!! The bad news is, well...we haven't found anybody to spy on Burger king and Tim hortons yet. We want to spy on Tim Hortons because they were the ones that told us that burger king was spying on us, so we think that they might have framed burger king. But we don't know that.
The other day we tried to recruit some people.
At the park there was a guy walking his dog. Matt (our owner, founder, manager, recruiting officer, publicist, and part-time chicken killer) walked up to him and said "So have you heard about Deep Sea Chicken?" The guy had to admit that he hadn't. Matt filled him in on the facts, and then said "I need to hire you to be a spy." The guy seemed a bit taken aback. "You need to spy on burger king and tim hortons" Matt continued "Tim Hortons told us that burger king is stealing our ideas, but we think that Tim Hortons might have framed burger king" He looked up at mom, who was beside him. "Mom, give him our phone number" It was an order. This time Mom looked quite taken aback, and she started to point Matt towards the van. Matt was still saying how the guy could e-mail all the pictures he took, (but didn't couldn't give the guy his e-mail). As Matt was being forcefully steered towards the van he turned around and yelled at the guy in a last ditch effort to not sever all ties with the guy " WE CAN TALK ON MSNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!"

Unfortunately it didn't work out, and so now we are still searching for a employee who will brave the dangerous mission of finding out all about burger king. A camera (preferably digital), and an e-mail address will be required for the position.

Success!!

2005-02-09T16:42:00.000-05:00

There has been an outbreak of avion-scabies-flu in the camp of our arch-enemy; burger king.
Since our army was weakened by the epidemic, we are currently working of toughening them up a big. We have some exercise videos, and we are feeding the chickens a very healthy diet - no pesticides for our chickens!!! Only anything that is 100% natural and edible. We have also started breeding some of our hens with some of our roosters - if that won't make our army stronger I'm not sure what will.
The chickens all have to do at least 1 exercise video every day, which video they do is their own choice. Some of them are still suffering from grief for their friends that died in the epidemic, and those chickens we have put in a cyciatric ward to be fattened up and served at the restaurant as they are no good in the army. They are totally fine with this - they miss their friends. As for the rest of the chickens, I bet you are wondering why they die for Deep Sea Chicken so willingly. Well, nobody can really put a finger on it. Maybe it is because they are treated humanely while they are alive. Maybe it's because they know that All chickens die and are served at your supper table, or maybe they are just incredibly loyal to Deep Sea Chicken because of its noble causes and such. I'm not really sure.

A sad week for Deep Sea Chicken/army lovers everywhere

2005-02-07T20:33:00.000-05:00

Well, the last week has been really hectic, because we had an outbreak of the avion-scabies-flu among our chickens. The week was a confused blur of antibiotics, hauling away dead chickens and crying our eyes out. Some of the chickens stated in their will that if they died of a contagious disease then then wanted us to put them in Burger King's wells so that it would poison all their soldiers. I am happy - and this may be the only happy note in this post - that the chickens got what they wanted.
The other chickens wanted decent burials or cremation with their friends and family near them. We couldn't figure out who some of them were, so we invited ALL the friends and family of all the chickens to the funeral - most of the dead chickens were identified by a close friend or family member.
Before you sue us we just want to make something clear. No chickens that die of any disease are served up at Deep Sea Chicken.

Howdy!

2005-01-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

This is my first blog. Katelyn taught me some Html and so we made this template together. I am still working on the pictures because what you see in the pictures is less then a 70th of the army. Every day you will probably see a new picture on the sidebar. I will blog more!!!!

<><

Lets Kick The Tires And Light The Fires!

2005-01-26T11:25:00.000-05:00

WEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOO I have just taught Combat Lucy and Prissy how to drive a Blackhawk 289. Murder King smashed their boeing 747 into our blackhawk and the got more damage than us. We propelled onto their left wing and the Prissy hid her face because she had a wing too. We slashed their engine right in half and we split the airplane in half. But the pilot used his butcher knife to cut off out back propeller. TIME FOR A NYLON LETDOWN!!!!!!!!! The Lucy and Prissy jumped out with both my parachutes so I was ready for a dogfight. FANGS OUT! I screamed and I shot the 747 down into the desert of goo (fog). WE WIN!!!!!. Luckily I mugged a parachute from the 747 and went down to be reunited with the chickens.

~Matt

My first chicken army blog

2005-01-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

This army is being created to protect us in case of attack by burger king. As you all know they have been infringing on our copyright laws lately, so we declared open war on them. Aren't the pictures sweet?

Today was a hard one as it was the chickens' first day of training. I have managed to teach them to walk into their coop on the sound of my whistle, but that won't do any good because when they are in battle and they hear the whistle all they will do is retreat and the enemy will think that we surrender.

~Matt

Cell Phones or Digital Cameras? I need YOU to decide.

2005-01-22T15:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry everyone for not blogging everyday. It's just a problem about my busy schedule. I'm very busy doing extra chores to earn money to save up for DSC so I am not having that much time to blog. So I want EVERYBODY who reads this blog to save up your money for Dsc. We've been wondering what kind of free toys you should get with your meal. Katelyn thinks digital cameras. I think not. What prizes should we get after a meal my loyal blog readers? Please comment on this, because the only person who has ever commented on my blog is Aimee.

I want to make a contest. It is called a baby contest. If one baby wins the family gets to work in deep sea chicken. The contest is for the SMARTEST BABY. We'll see if they know what 1+1 is. The first baby who knows lots of tricks and stuff wins the contest. If you're asking when the contest is it goes on for the whole day. Three times a day, at breakfast, lunch and supper. Also we have them at Brunch, and Slupper. and also at Midnight snack. Deep Sea Chicken is open to midnight.

Love the Founder and Manager of the Illustrious Restaurant Deep Sea Chicken Matthew Abarbanel

Building up our funds $ $

2005-01-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

I'm really sorry for not blogging, but without me blogging that saves time for me to develop new ideas. We have a little undergroud discovery centre/play area. Its where you play and stuff. You touch these metal balls, and your hair tries to get to the ceiling. There is this place where there is air shooting up from the ground and it'll propel you to the ceiling. We have a little slide down to the discovery centre underground. Now how do you get up? That's simple!! You go on the air floating thing! It moves so that it can put you right back in your seat!

Also the Founder and Manager of Deep Sea Chicken Matthew Abarbanel would like to formally thank Mr and Mrs Melanie and Nathan Wallace for donating generously to the well being of Deep Sea Chicken. There is now $10 dollars in Deep Sea Chicken's savings account. Anyone, whether hired or not may donate to this extremely worthy cause. If you are employed you are already aware that you have to donate $5 anyway (which is what Melanie and Nathan were doing). That's £2.20 for all of you brits!

Love Matthew Abarbanel Founder and Manager of the Illustrious restaurand Deep Sea Chicken

HAAAPPYYYYYYY BIIIRRRRTTTHHHHHHHDDDAAAAAYYYYY!!!

2005-01-12T10:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. Matthew Abarbanel (aka. my boss),

Thank you very much for the invite to your birthday. Although there is NOTHING in the world I would rather do today, unfortunately I have to attend some very important meetings today with some potential financiers of DSC. I also looked into it, and it appears that the Deep Sea Chicken private jet has already been booked for today (you should look into that!) so I can't jet over after my meetings. However, as Assistant Manager, please accept my congratulations on your birthday.

Melanie

Happy Birthday To me!!! Happy birthday to me!!!! Deep Sea Chicken is (aprox) 2 years old now!! Happy Birthday To me!!!!!

2005-01-12T09:30:00.001-05:00

Today is my birthday. I actually decided to invite some people over like my neighbours. You can't invite yourself, but I can invite you. I'm going to invite Melanie and Nathan to my birthday party today. Melanie and Nathan don't have to come, but they can if they want. . There is a picture of Melanie, so if you are also named Melanie and you don't look like this one then YOU ARE NOT INVITED!! (unless I already hired you for Deep Sea Chicken. I want a template in my website that has red in it. I wan't it to be Canadian, because Deep Sea Chicken is a canadian restaurant.

Tune in next time to hear the Founder and Manager of the Illustrious restaurant Deep Sea Chicken say: What? Melanie didn't come?!

Love Matthew Abarbanel Founder and Manger of the illustrious restaurant Deep Sea Chicken.

Congratulations to Melanie Wallace my assistant manager on her blog anniversary!!

2005-01-11T08:49:00.000-05:00

I like 100% of the template. So my new idea is like you go into this room, and you press this button, and all this color comes around you. It looks like you can walk through it, but when you try you just hit wall. So its kind of like magic. At Deep Sea Chicken we have pop waterfalls, you just dip your glass in. It goes out to a little sea, and you can surf and swim there. We have showers to wash the stickyness off of you. We have floaties for people who might drown. We have air dispensers at the bottom of the pool, so sometimes we will have a big bubble come up right underneath you will go WAaah!!

Its called the ZERO POPITY CHAMBER!!!

Tune in next time when you'll hear Matthew Abarbanel founder and manager of the illustrious restaurant Deep Sea Chicken say: It's my birthday!!

Love Matthew Abarbanel Founder and Manager of the illustrious restaurand Deep Sea Chicken

WHOA!!

2005-01-10T19:07:00.000-05:00

So I made a template for the blog that everybody liked...in fact liked so much that we are considering making it standard Deep Sea Chicken website template design. I especially like the orange and blue - I experimented with a lot of different shades and finally settled on this one, because it mixes vivid colours with less vivid colours. Feedback on the template will be (somewhat) appreciated. At this point I'm not sure I want a guestbook, so I 'm just going to leave it for now...so just use the comment feature.

Katelyn

Hey! I've got a new idea!

2005-01-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

We have decided to have a new fashion line with the deep sea chicken logo on them. Katelyn is going to be my official fashion designer.

So Katelyn is also hired to make pancakes, because today she made pancakes and I put some syrup and butter on them and they tasted fine. She is the official pancake maker.
So one idea I had was kind of about getting a free plane ride around deep sea chicken and the city. Deep Sea Chicken has its own runway that takes 3 minutes to get to the end if you are a plane. It has ten engines and it goes pretty fast because it has ten engines. It also can go underwater and on top of water, and it can hover over stuff like a helicopter.

Everybody has to give 5 dollars if they want to be an employee (I will pay them after we get it started). So we have enough money to finance the airstrip, and the helicopter pad, the gum fountains, the plane and car parking, and the boats. When you come to deep sea chicken you can take the ferry, when you come off the ferry, there is Deep Sea Chicken. Where the ferry goes isn't that deep, so if the ferry sinks, you don't have to worry because it's not that deep.

One more idea is that Deep Sea Chicken has a roller coaster, and rock climbing walls. Also we have a play ground.

Tune in next time when you hear the illustrious Founder and Manager of Deep Sea Chicken Matthew Abarbanel say: Congratulations to Melanie Wallace my assistant manager on her blog anniversary!!!

A note from the Assistant Manager

2005-01-09T18:42:00.000-05:00

Well, according the the DSC website, I am the Assistant Manager of DSC, so it is my distinct privelege that our illustrious leader has invited me to post on this blog!! I am so excited.

I don't want to start any unfounded rumours, but my impression from my stay with the manager this winter suggested that DSC may be in need of some - ummm, financing options. In fact, Matthew suggested that I get another job, and that Nathan hand over his Army earnings for the cause, so we may need to do some brainstorming about fundraising ideas. Maybe Katelyn can sell jewellrey and Sarah can sell her art for the cause. Also, maybe we could make and market DSC t-shirts or create a DSC cruise line that people could travel on and all the proceeds would go to the restaurant. I mean really, the possibilities are endless here!

Well, we will have to wait and follow our managers lead......

~M

Hi, I'm Matt

2005-01-09T16:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been trying to make up ideas to catch burger king so if any of you guys have any ideas just blog and tell me about it.

So I'm going to tell you some of the new ideas i have for Deep Sea Chicken. So my first idea is like a gum fountain. Gumballs shoot up from the fountain. You catch them in your mouth if you can, and sometimes they roll everywhere. When the place gets filled up the fountains stop, and then they wait until its all empty and they start producing again. So it's like sensors. So the next idea is about a hotel in the place. So you can like stay in the hotel and you get a private breakfast, and you can just go and get some gum. We also have food fountains in the hotel, the food you want, pops right out of an opening in your dinner table. It just comes right up! We also have a couple stores in there. Deep Sea Chicken is actually at the bottom floor, and on the top floors we have our designer line, and a dollar store. On the roof there are helicopter pads. They can stop the place from catching on fire. And we have stuff that's buried undergroud that just shoots up in case of a fire. It just puts it right out. The whole place is fire proof. We have a little lab at Deep Sea Chicken. When you go into the lab it is like a big tunnel, and the lab has a skylight. You can look up and see through it and its actually very beautiful 'cause you're like really high up in the sky on a huge huge platform. The building is actually taller than Deep Sea Chicken, so its pretty big. You can parachute off the building as well.

Tune in next time when you hear Matthew Abarbanel Founder and Manager of the illustrious restaurant Deep Sea Chicken say: Hey! I've got a new idea;)

Love Matthew Abarbanel Founder and Manager of Deep Sea Chicken

Startup

2005-01-09T14:40:00.000-05:00

As of yet Matthew is refusing to blog saying "I'm too tired to do it"...so I decided I will be the first to post on deep sea chickens official website blog. Matt has invited a number of other prominent people in the company fabric of Deep Sea Chicken, and we hope that some of them will be responding soon. We tried to make a nicer template for the blog, but it didn't work, and I think we will be sticking with this template for at least a while.

Matthew has been talking a lot lately about catching Burger King because they are stealing some of his ideas with the chickens. One of the ideas was to make a Burger Queen, and then they would get married, but the Burger Queen would really be a bomb. Matt vetoed that idea though, because he didn't want to kill anyone - just maybe ransom them.

Katelyn